If getting this fantasy filled is a bigger priority for him than anything else in his life and there's no way for him to adjust expectations, then you guys are probably not compatible for the long term and should split up.

Well dude, see uh, I was hanging out the other day in front of your pad when your neighbor walked out." After several rounds of that I added that his asking was making me feel disrespected, inadequate in the bedroom, and was damaging our marriage. He told my hand and placed in over his crotch pressing himself against me and making it obvious that he had a partial erection! I smiled and we kissed! We made love and I played with the thought of making love to a different man. The fantasy wasn't necessarily a different fantasy but now it was a possible fantasy and I found the thought very exciting. On the other hand, if you don't care about this marriage at all anymore, then all he needs to know is that you're leaving. I know you want to explain things and have closure and understanding, but you've tried that a lot with this guy, and he's proven to be incapable of that. If you want to feel as if you've done due diligence, you can give him one opportunity to seek treatment for his obsessive behavior before you divorce him.I would seriously ask him this question. And I would seriously call a marriage counselor. I get that he has a fetish and that's fine, but you should not be pressured into doing something that doesn't also work for you when you feel it compromises how you feel about yourself. This isn't like "Try this butt plug once and see if you like it," this is "Please do something you will probably hate that will leave an indelible effect on how you feel about yourself, forever."

But *don't* do this without a therapist, unless you're just waiting for the right time to leave your marriage. Often one or the other would come to our home for dinner. I could see they were lost. They were like ships without moorings. I began to feel such sympathy for them. Most nights when one or the other dined with us, they would sleep over in our guest room.My husband pressed on and inquired if I would not consent to "take care of their needs." I explained how I had spoken to a number of my friends, I had so hoped one might agree to at least have dinner, or perhaps know of a widow who might be a suitable match, but as yet, none of my friends had agreed. I asked my husband if he had a better idea. Who would’ve thought that opening up our sex life to other people would make us even more turned on for each other? I’ve Become Hooked On Being Shared (We’ve Tried It Again)

Just as a last thought, many men like the thought of their wife and another guy (i know i do) so he may be the same and he may like the idea of you and him. either way you need to talk to him. as for the more men only you know what you like I am sure many might think me a despicable and wanton woman, but I believe the gift of love is a precious thing. I do not do this casually, and this gift is being given by my husband and myself together. My wife told me one night that it had been over a year since she had had sex.My wife offer me to her and we did the same as you. so i under stand what you said about liking it i did to. all up i think we had sex about 8 times then one night the 3 of us agreed that her self confedance was better and that we should return to normal. What I did not know was my boyfriend had planned for four of his friends to join us. They used me most willfully while I was in this helpless state. I know I should have broken off my relationship with him, but his forceful nature was most compelling and I submitted to him and more of his friends over the coming months. We also wanted to see if we could find some other guys. Branch out a little, try new things, and new people.John, who is ironically a marriage, relationship and sexual coach, shares: “My wife and I went out with some friends for bowling and beer. We both had a little too much to drink.” However, that didn’t stop him from initiating intercourse with his wife that night. “I was happily pumping away with a full bladder. I began to feel the urge to ejaculate (or so I thought in my half drunken stupor). The problem was that I was peeing instead of ejaculating.” 5. Caught in the act